review of MY DARK VANESSA BY KATE ELIZABETH RUSSELL

MY DARK VANESSA BY KATE ELIZABETH RUSSELL

This story is unlike any story I've read in a long time. And it is a story that will stick with me and you after reading it. Its troubling and powerful, chaotic, and beautiful, a true work of art. I won't lie this is not a story for everyone to dive into because of the horrific amount of detail that Russell uses, but that is part of the beauty of this book. Because sometimes even if something is hard to take in, sometimes it's important that you do. Russell tells a captivating story that is timeless and speaks to so many people's own stories. I believe this is going down as one of my favorite books of the year so far!

This story might seem like it's just about Vanessa but its really about two Vanessas, 2000 Vanessa and 2017 Vanessa. She is a grown woman in 2017 and is still struggling with what happened to her when she was 15 years old and for the last 17 years. While at boarding school during her sophomore year she meets Jacob Strane, a seemingly loving and caring 42-year-old English teacher. The story of Lolita is a defining characteristic of this book and of Vanessa and Strane's relationship. It's twisted and complicated at every turn of the page because to most people who hear of a sexual and romantic relationship between a 15-year-old and a 42-year-old will scream ABUSE but for Vanessa, she does not and will not see herself a victim but rather a willing participant at every step. She loves this man and believes wholeheartedly that he loves her in return, and maybe he actually did. It would have been effortless to try to make the reader more at easy by making Strane a handsome young teacher, or make their relationship more idealized romantically. But the way Russell interweaves serious and dangerous traits of a pedophile mixed in with the longing and love of Vanessa, it causes the reader to look at these relationships and observe why and how they actually happen. It's in one breathe a warning of how a predator can groom you and in another a girl's first love. It's truly brilliant and horrifying all at the same time. I think I can literally write an entire essay of this book I believe but instead, I will employ you to read it yourself!


The stand out quote (and there were many!):

"I was the kind of girl that isn't supposed to exist: one eager to hurl herself into the path of a pedophile. 

But no, that word isn't right, never has been. It's a cop-out, a lie in a way its wrong to call me a victim and nothing more. He was never so simple; neither was I. " Pg 110

Some questions to think about! 

1. Why do you think a story like this is important to tell, to be written? 
2. So many people try to claim all of the blame over the years, do you think it's any one person's responsibility to take the blame of what happened to Vanessa? 
3. Why do you believe Vanessa convinced herself it was love rather than abuse? 
4. Do you feel as though the end harbored closure for the characters? Would you have ended it differently?  

Thank you for stopping by! I hope you enjoy reading!!

-MDB